this week i turned thirty.  i wasnt quite sure how i felt about it, to be honest with you.  i sort of expected to wake up to confetti and fireworks and a large man standing up on my dresser with a bullhorn announcing to the world that the universe is now plus one “real” adult.  alas, there was no bedroom circus, no light parade, no fire-eaters.  october 5th was nothing more than the 10,957th day since i popped out of someone.

i did consider this “big”  birthday an opportunity to reflect on life, et al.  what i’ve got, what i want, what i did, what i havent… and most important; who i am, who i ought to be.   i’d like to think that as i’ve gotten older, the “me” that i am getting closer to, the me that i would like to be, is hopeful, kind, and generous.  and i hope that this thirty year old “me” shows who i am not in my shoes, accessories, or car… but in my actions, words and heart.  that’s my goal.

i read a quote the other day that i really liked: “there are years that ask questions and years that answer.” -zora neale hurtson

i think my thirtieth year answered a lot of questions for me.  i was able to answer one particular question that i’ve been plaguing myself with for years now…

“am i happy yet?”

yes.

i’m not perfect, and i don’t promise to be, but i am learning from and just basically basking in the glory of my imperfections.  i think this year i can finally accept that.  i’ve finally learned it’s ok to be me. it’s funny how easy it is to be happy once you find that you really believe that simple fact.

it’s ok to be me.

thank you so much to my dear friends and family, and my loves. for not only helping me celebrate my thirtieth birthday, but for helping me get here safe and happy.

jeremy, claire and i after dinner on my birthday.